Control

I read something interesting today:

"Keep me from deliberate sins! Don't let them control me. Then I will be free of guilt and innocent of great sin." (Psalm 19:13)

Hmmm...

I've been thinking about control lately as it pertains to my faith in God. I had a conversation with a friend recently that really started me thinking about just how much I'm willing to let God control my life. Everyone deals with this issue, and the problem is as old as humanity itself. I struggle with letting God take over the things in my life that I so desperately want to control, especially the things I had no control over as a child. Money would probably be on the top of the list. But as I read this psalm I suddenly had a moment of clarity. I mean, the thought was so simple. It was this: The more I fight for control, the more I am actually enslaved. Rebellion against God is at the root of sin, and giving something to Him that I would rather keep for myself is a selfless act. I become more like Him when I surrender, throw up the white flag and beg for mercy. Every time I make a conscious decision to disobey God, I am placing myself behind enemy lines.

Baby Steps.

Eastern European Salsa

My friend Amanda gave me this awesome mix CD. There are several songs included that can only be described as a mixture of Eastern European folk music and Salsa. Surprisingly, the mix is a perfect combination. I love it! I've been listening to this CD over and over again as I pack up all my belongings. It's great packing music.

Also, I watched a couple of episodes of Seaquest DSV on YouTube. I now have a bit of free time to do trivial things like that. Does anyone remember Seaquest? It was one of my favorite shows when I was a teenager. I was in love with Jonathan Brandis. Gosh, it seems so silly now as I look back on what a huge crush I had on him. Now my crushes have evolved to include more mature unattainable men, such as, Ben Browder on Stargate SG-1. Yes, yes, I watch Stargate. I am a complete geek. Well, a closet geek, really. I don't usually mention my Sci-Fi geekiness in polite company. I feel as if I should have outgrown it when I hit 20. I don't really fit into that category of most young, male Sci-Fi fanatics who for the most part are obsessed with ships, technology, alien life forms, and half naked blue-skinned women. I'm drawn to the storytelling possibilities of Sci-Fi and the development of believable character interaction. The sky's the limit when it comes to Sci-Fi (okay, the sky isn't really the limit). I mean, the entire universe is your playground if you're creating Sci-Fi. You're only constrained by the limits of your imagination.

Well, that was off topic. I don't want to be one of those obsessed Trekkies who knows every name and rank of every dead red-shirted ensign that was ever killed by a mutant blob thing (Trekkies, you know what I mean). To quote the bard, "The play is the thing". The story, the hope for a brighter tomorrow, the chance to escape to worlds undiscovered; that is the germ of my love affair with Sci-Fi. Just give me a good story and I'll be happy.

I also don't want to have people automatically label me as a geek. I've always cared way too much about what other people think. I've worked hard to build this somewhat eclectic artsy-fartsy, rustic-chic, flea market, free and easy type personality. But no matter how hard I try, I can't divorce the Sci-Fi part of me lurking just under the surface of the sophisticated lady I think I am.

That part of me is just waiting to kick your butt at Trivial Pursuit: Star Wars Edition.

St. Patty's Day Scramble

This weekend was crazy! I don't think I've ever had such a crazy weekend. Let's just start by saying that St. Patty's Day in Savannah is like nothing I've ever experienced before. I've never seen so many people having so much fun.

Some crazy things that happened this weekend:

Thursday:
My friends Larissa and Dan came to visit and they got lost attempting to get to Crystal Beer Parlor.
We happened to run into a crime scene that included at least 12 cop cars and a police helicopter. I later found out that the person they arrested was a 17 year old drunken kid who tried to run away from the police and hid underneath a boat and then resisted arrest. He broke a cop's ankle in the fight. Geez! Of course all the girls in our group ran away from all the cop cars, Daniel and Winston decided to go closer to see what was up. Crazy boys!

Went to River St. and bought some ice cream! (Daniel told us all the history of kilts and bagpiped, very interesting.
I was attacked by a rabid squirrel (okay, so that didn't happen).
We went to David's pre-St' Pat's party and the ceiling almost collapsed. David's roommate tried to get everyone downstairs by yelling something like, "everyone who doesn't want to die, get downstairs."

Friday:
Larissa, Dan and I took the Mercer House Tour.
We had a great lunch at the Gryphon Tea Room and then we walked around for a bit.
We went to Mercury Lounge and did the wallflower thing. The blues band was excellent, though. Captain Morgan gave me some beads! Woot.

Saturday:
Went to the St. Patty's Day Parade. My favorite by far were the bagpipe bands. I love bagpipes. Get's the Anglo-Saxon part of me all excited.
Ate lunch at Firefly Cafe (also excellent).
Went to the beach (was accosted by seagulls).
Went to the Goodwill store (bought a teacup).
Went to the St. Patty's Day Celebration at River Street. Let's just say that it is hard to describe this event. It is the largest St. Patty's Day bash in the U.S. (an estimated 50,000 people attended), and most everyone gets much less than sober in a hurry.
Went to David's post-St. Patty's Day party (seeing as it was 2 AM on Sunday) and decided to stay downstairs this time.
Went home and ate guacamole, pizza, and chips.

Sunday:
Went to Vineyard and learned all about St. Patrick. (and no, he did not banish snakes from Ireland). As my pastor Kent said, "It's not all about green grits".
Went to Panera (yummy).
Saw Larissa and Dan off (was very sad to see them go).
Chilled!

The End

SHE'S ALIVE!!!

I feel like a baby duck that just learned how to fly! That's how free I feel. Excepting the fact that I still need to turn my thesis stuff in, I am done with classes, done with books, no more teacher's dirty looks. He, he, not that any of my teachers give me dirty looks! They are a very amiable set. Oh, I am sooooooo glad that spring break is here. Looking back on this quarter I realize that I was being attacked from every angle. I was sick. My car broke down. My classes were at best trying, and at worst a complete nightmare. I think I still need to think a bit more before I write a whole blog on the subject of last quarter. Right now, though, I will just end by saying that I am FREE INDEED!!!

Swing!

Hooray for Spring, it's time to SWING!!! This is my first complete image for the children's book I've been working on. Wow, this has been such a crazy journey. Last night, when I finished this image, I was completely disgusted with it. This morning however, I'm content. Nothing like a night's sleep to make you feel better about your art and life in general. Last night, I was having a bit of an artistic crisis. I thought, I stink, I can't paint anything the way I envision it in my head. I hate the way I work, it feels so dead and boring! This morning I realized, "Wait, I'm only 24 years old. I still have so much to learn!" All I can do is continue to use the gifts God has given me. I want to be better, to learn more and to improve. Life is all about learning new things, as Kelsie is discovering. (This is her first time swinging. She's not so sure about it, but she's giving it a go. All I have to do is stay on that swing and swing a little higher each time, until finally, I jump off the swing and land at heaven's door.) Okay a bit cheesy, but really, I never thought of swinging as a metaphor for life, but it is. Sometimes you're up, sometimes down, sometimes going forward, and sometimes going backward. Swinging was one of my favorite things to do as a kid, and even now, there is nothing quite like it. Very freeing.